For those that think she needs to forgive him to move on, you need to understand that you don't gotta forgive to move on, process the hurt, and be happy. It's a personal choice but it's not helpful to say victims of abuse and neglect are only gonna find happiness and move on by forgiving those that hurt them. I think there is a misconception that if you don't forgive your abuser, you are constantly dwelling on your hurt and anger. That's not true. You have good and bad days, same as anyone else. Sure, sometimes if the topic of your abuser comes up, you can experience strong feelings about it, even have flashbacks and panic attacks, but that'd happen regardless of whether you forgave them or not. Trauma gets nice and cozy in your nervous system, it changes you on the level of how your body reads it's own dna. It's not something forgiveness can fix. That requires stability, safety, support, and learning how to process things and cope in healthier ways. You can firmly decide that what they did was unforgivable, regardless of apology, accountability, and change, and still heal as best you can and find happiness while leaving them behind. And forgiveness requires those things, bare minimum, to even be considered. He still was pushy and not thinking of what she wanted. It was all about how he felt. He didn't stop to think of how trying to get her to stay would paint a target on her back and she'd be shunned. It was about her being there as a comfort to him. That's not change, it's just his selfishness showing itself in a deceptive way. When he put out the order to find her, he made no mention that he wanted to be reunited with his other daughter, so of course ppl assumed the worst of her and hurt her. He does not deserve to be forgiven, even if she still walks away from him. Plus, you have to understand, for many abuse survivors, forgiveness is synonymous with rug sweeping, invalidating your own feelings and lived experiences for the comfort of others. So when you tell a victim to forgive, and they react badly to it, understand you just told them to let it go, to act like it didn't happen. It doesn't matter if that's not what forgiveness is supposed to mean or what you were trying to say, it's how it's interpreted because for victims, forgiveness was weaponized and forced and was never for them. It's not comforting for them, it's comforting for those telling them to forgive. Forgiveness is a personal choice that not everyone wants or needs. For her, she was never a part of the relationship. She was checked out at 9 yo. She realized he did not love her, just loved the idea of her after she started doing things to his benefit. He desperately wants to play happy family when she wants a clean break to go figure out who she wants to be. He keeps putting her in situations where she is misunderstood and vilified. If he truly loved her, he'd support her and accept that she doesn't want to be in his life, nor he in hers. He'd publicly declare she did nothing wrong and that it was wrong to blame a child for the actions of their parents. She did nothing to deceive him, she was just a child who was as in the dark as he about her parentage. Or even stare there was a mix up during the birth of his daughter and they looked so alike as babies that it was a mistake. Hail her for realizing and sacrificing her position so the bio daughter could be returned to her father and made crown princess. But he didn't. He let ppl believe she, a child, had orchestrated some complicated deception and ppl wanted to hurt and SA her to punish her. And he was clueless? Nah. No forgiveness for that.